This Question-and-Answer session came from the Home Practice Guide webinar Kim hosted earlier year. These are questions of how to go about purging and de-cluttering, particularly when it comes to our children’s belongings. We hope you glean some good ideas from this discussion and share any of your own struggles/successes around this issue in the comments below!
Q: How do you recommend we purge (throw away, give away) toys and other stuff? We have
wonderful toys (wooden, open ended and lovely) but TOO many of them (how many is too many? I
think my kids would be happy with Lego and some scarves/blankets). I am so afraid that I will send the kids to therapy for the rest of their lives with the getting rid of all their things (toys, stuffies).
Q: If you have a child that likes to keep things, save things, sometimes almost hoard things do
they need any special preparation for the reduction? Thanks
There have been a number of ways parents have done this. At one end of the spectrum I have seen some parents “just do it” with a major toy cull. At the other end of the spectrum, I have seen parents do it in a gradual way by, once every couple of weeks, taking away those toys that they are convinced the child would not even notice and stop when they think they might be getting into an area where the child might question them. In the mid-range is removing most of the toys that are simply not being used. Every week or so, remove some more, until you build up your confidence and your child’s familiarity with the process. Some parents say that what really matters is your loving, warm and
firm gesture. To be thoughtful, and not tentative. So many parents report that they made much too
big a deal of it inside themselves and that when the decluttering was done it was easy.
Generally, very few parents I have known have talked to their children about de-cluttering toys.
Some have reported they made a simple statement that they were de-cluttering the house. Others
have said little or nothing, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. I find that when I de-clutter, it is much more acceptable to my kids if it is a part of what we all do and not just targeted at them.
I would add that where I have seen this work beautifully is when the clean up is a part of a general
slow down and balancing of family life. The parent is then coming from a space within a stronger bond with the child. In this sense, the child grows the attachment to the parent and is not so worried about possessions and toys.