G.K. Chesterton claimed that “Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed.”
I couldn’t agree more. However, dragons can still be scary, and, at some ages, too scary to even think about going to battle with them. Instead, the dragons might battle them at nighttime and add stress to our little ones’ lives.
The ability to abstract the “lesson” from a fairytale is (obviously) based on the story itself and the children’s age. I’ve been watching my little girls because they are very adept at picking out lessons – those intended and unintended. They see that Hansel and Gretel manage to get Hansel out of the cage and shove the evil witch into the oven, but that did not lead to abstract thinking and the ability to solve the next problem themselves (unless, of course, there is a witch and an oven). Instead, my daughter kept asking why the witch needed to go into the oven, what would happen to her, why they wouldn’t get her out, etc.? For her, imagining a witch in an oven was very terrifying. It meant that Hansel and Gretel went back on the shelf in our house for a while.
And apparently, we are not the only ones who think that, even though we love fairy tales, they are not always the key to a children’s mind. First, the mind needs to be ready. I see Albert Einstein’s famous quote all over the internet these days. “If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.” And yet, if the child is not ready, the fairy tale is not leading to intelligence, but to misunderstanding and anxiety. Timing is everything.
Without doubt, fairy tales are a wonderful source for stories, theater, music, and art. They come to us from all different cultures around the world, speak a common language, and, by using archetypal characters, speak to the child’s developing individuality. Fairy tales are considered timeless and can help children to enter the world of magic and wonder. And at the same time, the meaning of these tales is often packaged in gruesome stories complete with mutilation, cannibalism, infanticide and incest.
Many people have warned about “sugarcoating” fairytales. I completely agree. I don’t think it does any good if the plot gets twisted and the underlying meaning of the story is lost. I do believe, however, that certain fairytales are suited for certain times. When that time is, only a parent or caregiver can decide. For us, right now, stories like the Sleeping Beauty, Three Little Pigs, and The Shoemaker and the Elves are very well received. Hansel and Gretel, Snow White, and Rapunzel will wait on the shelf for a while. It’s okay to not like certain fairy tales or to keep them on the shelf until a certain age is reached. Really.
Happy reading!
Franziska Macur is a Professor of Communications turned homeschooling mom, a writer, a Certified Simplicity Parenting Coach, and a lover of stories. She is the author of “Charlie and Noel: An Advent Calendar Story.” Franziska and her husband raise their two young daughters bilingually and are passionate about family rhythm and simplicity. You can read more about the power of stories and Franziska’s journey to live and parent simply, creatively, and wholesomely at Home, Naturally: Growing Strong Families, One Story at a Time.