“When you act to limit what you don’t want for your family, you clarify what you really do need, what is important to you. Your values clarify. Simplification is a path of self-definition for the family.
It is quieter when the insistent noise of popular culture, competition, and consumerism are turned down several notches. Just as a singer has to shut out ambient noises to hear her own voice, simplification allows a family to “tune in” to their values, to what works for them, what defines them. The voice that can be heard, as the noise diminishes, is your own, your own true voice as a parent.” – Kim John Payne
Central to the Simplicity Parenting movement is this idea, that, when we cut out the clutter in our schedules and in our thoughts, we have new, open space, where something more beautiful can emerge – where we find our voices and begin to experience life as the people we were made to be.
I see many examples of families expressing their new found “voice” on this very site – some families have a quiet and very beautiful Sabbath routine, some find joy in baking together, some delight in serving others, in gardening, in family walks or bike rides, some have meaningful bedtime or dinner rituals, others enjoy hiking or playing music together. Each family, when they open their schedules, finds their own unique ways of connecting and enjoying one another.
Sometimes I have been so inspired by another family’s unique expression of themselves, I have felt my family should imitate it, that my family’s traditions should look the same. But it is never long, when I do this, before I find myself exhausted! Exhaustion is a sure sign that I am trying to be someone I am not.
Other times, I have been able to relax, to take in the new openness in our schedules, in our thoughts, and to listen for the unique voice that is our family’s. — To spend that long, quiet morning walking among the trees with my boys, digging for bugs and examining all the little signs of life pushing up through the dirt. Or to sit around with my husband and boys after dinner with our musical instruments, and make up funny songs, to sing and watch the boys join in on drums and xylophones – These things bring us more far joy than the scheduled activities, the television programs or nightly meetings which often used to fill that space. These things have become so valuable to me that I guard our simplified schedule carefully, knowing this open time at home together has become a greater priority.
When you simplify, your family will naturally find new ways of connecting. Your new family traditions may look nothing like mine, and they shouldn’t. The beauty of this journey is that when you simplify and have that open space, your family will find its own unique voice – you will have your own beautiful ways of finding connection as a family. Simplifying in the areas of environment, schedules, and media are all great ways to turn down the noise of popular culture so that you can discover what makes your family tick, what inspires you, how you will live in a way that blesses one another and everyone around you.
The beauty of living with less – less stuff, less on the schedule, less influence from media – is the freedom to fill that open space with what is most true for you. When you find it, you will also find all the energy you need to continue on this journey, for it is a treasure far more valuable than anything traded to receive it.
Traci lives in Texas with her husband and two little boys. You can visit her blog, Educated for Love, or see the visual daily rhythm charts she makes at A Kid’s Day.